Of all the things I ever wished for, you are truly my wish came true.
Happy 6 months old, my little princess! 😘
- Sit up with some support, she can sit in high chairs and booster seats now.
- Pay attention and give some reaction when I read her bedtime stories.
- Attempt to crawl (but can’t yet)
- Open her mouth wide with enthusiasm when she sees the spoon coming towards her during mealtimes.
- Hold up her arms to be carried.
Thank you my dearest T, for these wonderful 6 months of love. Although I still get annoyed at you sometimes for kicking up a fuss at bedtime and refusing to sleep (because well you know mommy’s seriously sleep deprived with a long backlog of chores to do while you are sleeping), but deep down inside I love you more than you can imagine and wish that I have all the power in the world to just stop time and hold you in my arms.
You know before you were born, I told daddy that you are never going to sleep in our bed because we need our privacy and you need to learn how to sleep in your own bed independently. Lately daddy’s been finding you sound asleep in the middle of our bed sometimes with your legs kicking at him. Well I know you’re not gonna stay tiny forever and sometimes I do like to cuddle you to sleep, hence sometimes my heart does jump for joy when you refuse to sleep in your own bed, and would happily pick you up and put you in our bed, right beside me 🙂 Yes, I’m guilty of spoiling you. But you won’t want to sleep beside me forever, and you won’t want me to carry you in my arms forever. So I’ll savour the moment while I can.
My dear baby T,
Tonight as I held you in my arms and watched you sleep so peacefully, a tear rolled down my cheek as my emotions bubbled up inside me. Remember before you were 2 months old, how you constantly cried for hours and I just held onto you not knowing what to do. And how you always fell asleep on my chest after all those episodes of crying and screaming. You eventually outgrew all the crying and screaming, but you also outgrew sleeping on my chest, which I missed so much.
And then there were days when you refused to sleep unless you were cradled in my arms, and I couldn’t put you down lest you would scream and cry the whole house down. Those days, I felt so angry and frustrated from the lack of sleep and not being able to do anything else. You soon outgrew that too, but then I started to miss holding you in my arms while you sleep 😢
Soon, you will learn to sit up, and crawl, and walk, and run. And you wouldn’t want to fall asleep in my arms anymore. I feel so emotional thinking of when it will be the last time I held you to sleep, kissed you to sleep, nursed you to sleep and held you close to my heart. With each new step you take as you grow up, there will also be my last times with you. For all these times we share, you might not remember it when you grow up. But I will always cherish them in my memory and in my heart. And for all the last times that I have to hold you, nurse you, feed you, kiss you and all… I will shed a tear when the moment comes for you to outgrow them. But I know you have to, for the sake of growing up. And I will miss those moments so dearly.
My dear baby T, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world. Maybe some will say I spoil you, but from this moment on, I don’t want to have any regrets. I already have regrets from not doing enough for the past 5 months. I will hold you as much as I can, let you sleep in my arms for as long as you want, and everything else can wait while I watch you sleep, or make you laugh, or make you feel loved. Because I only have one chance of watching you grow up and you grow up way too fast. Soon you will leave our nest and spread your wings and fly.
You are God’s precious gift to me, my little miracle. However, I know that you are not mine to keep, as children are borrowed from God. Your time is loaned to us to be raised up to be independent and strong enough to fly on your own. Until then, I will try my best to make the most of this borrowed time we have together, and cherish every moment with you in my heart.
The days are long but the years are short.