Last month was my first mother’s day after being a mom!
The card I got from T’s day care center. Of course, she didn’t make it 😂
T has just turned 9 months old! It has been a wonderful 9 months journey with my little bubbly (sometimes whiney) bundle of joy. 18 months, considering the time she spent in my tummy. 😂
I have been super busy with my hands so full of T lately. To summarize, at 9 months T has achieved the following:
She has been a poor eater lately, refusing all sorts of food and made poor weight gain in her 8th month. However there is some good progress this month after I started giving her more meals. Now, apart from the 2 meals she has at day care, I try to give her an additional breakfast and sometimes supper. Usually it’s yogurt, cheese, bread or fruits. During weekends, she gets snacks in between meals.
Of course, being the picky eater she is, sometimes I don’t understand why non-food items would taste much better to her…
She is still fully breastfed, although I have to start dipping into my freezer stash now as I’m finding it hard to pump at home while latching her at the same time. I used to do this, to collect enough milk for her next day’s supply. But since she is older now and more aware, she starts to grab at my pump or smacking it away. Pumping at work alone is not enough for her day time supply 😦 I’m glad I did pump diligently before this to collect some emergency stash. Now, I admit I’m a bit lazy and have slacked. I sometimes don’t even bother to pump at night or during weekends when she latches directly. Because you know, hard work keeping her hands to herself!
I hope I can continue breastfeeding her at least till she is 1 year old.
My little baby grows up just too fast! She is losing her baby looks and everyday I’m afraid of blinking because before I know it, she will be 18 years old and walking out of my life 😦 Mommy loves you and will miss you very much, my baby darling.
In a few days time, T will be 6 months old. Sob sob… time really flies so fast. I feel that I haven’t even enjoyed enough of her first 6 months and now she is ready to be all grown up 😦
I’m glad that I have been able to breastfeed her up till now and still able to continue beyond the 6 month mark. At this point I’m still thinking of whether to wean her off breastmilk or continue breastfeeding for a couple more months. Pumping at work is really tiring for me, even though I’m getting used to it. But sometimes I feel that the extra time I take off work to pump could be used to go home an hour earlier to spend with T 🙂
But I’m still holding the thought of continuing our breastfeeding journey as I really cherish those bonding moments with T while nursing her. Indecisive me 🙂
She is not able to sit up without support yet, and she still seems to have the tongue-thrust reflex.
Friends have been “brainwashing” me about baby led weaning, but I think I will go with puree first then only transition into BLW probably after a month or two. I’m a really paranoid parent and I would be really worried about the dangers of choking although it would be most unlikely 😂
I have already thought about what kind of veggies and fruits to feed her, and of course I’m super excited just thinking of preparing her food. I actually love cooking but I rarely have time or energy to do it, so making food for my little sweetheart is the perfect opportunity to do what I enjoy.
T, please don’t grow up too fast…
My dear baby T,
Tonight as I held you in my arms and watched you sleep so peacefully, a tear rolled down my cheek as my emotions bubbled up inside me. Remember before you were 2 months old, how you constantly cried for hours and I just held onto you not knowing what to do. And how you always fell asleep on my chest after all those episodes of crying and screaming. You eventually outgrew all the crying and screaming, but you also outgrew sleeping on my chest, which I missed so much.
And then there were days when you refused to sleep unless you were cradled in my arms, and I couldn’t put you down lest you would scream and cry the whole house down. Those days, I felt so angry and frustrated from the lack of sleep and not being able to do anything else. You soon outgrew that too, but then I started to miss holding you in my arms while you sleep 😢
Soon, you will learn to sit up, and crawl, and walk, and run. And you wouldn’t want to fall asleep in my arms anymore. I feel so emotional thinking of when it will be the last time I held you to sleep, kissed you to sleep, nursed you to sleep and held you close to my heart. With each new step you take as you grow up, there will also be my last times with you. For all these times we share, you might not remember it when you grow up. But I will always cherish them in my memory and in my heart. And for all the last times that I have to hold you, nurse you, feed you, kiss you and all… I will shed a tear when the moment comes for you to outgrow them. But I know you have to, for the sake of growing up. And I will miss those moments so dearly.
My dear baby T, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world. Maybe some will say I spoil you, but from this moment on, I don’t want to have any regrets. I already have regrets from not doing enough for the past 5 months. I will hold you as much as I can, let you sleep in my arms for as long as you want, and everything else can wait while I watch you sleep, or make you laugh, or make you feel loved. Because I only have one chance of watching you grow up and you grow up way too fast. Soon you will leave our nest and spread your wings and fly.
You are God’s precious gift to me, my little miracle. However, I know that you are not mine to keep, as children are borrowed from God. Your time is loaned to us to be raised up to be independent and strong enough to fly on your own. Until then, I will try my best to make the most of this borrowed time we have together, and cherish every moment with you in my heart.
The days are long but the years are short.