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T’s 1st Birthday

T has just turned 1 year old! So happy but sad at the same time. My baby is all grown up 😢 She is now a toddler!

Hello kitty cake for my little darling

At 1 year old, T is able to:

  1. Take a few steps on her own
  2. Stand up by herself
  3. Say a few words, mainly: mama, papa, dog, no no, no more, ya ya, kakak (sister), baby
  4. Hand gestures like wagging her finger (while saying “no no”), waving goodbye, showing her empty palms while saying “no more”, pointing at something or someone.
  5. She takes 1 long nap each day instead of multiple short naps
  6. Started taking 1 bottle of milk powder a day (rice milk, because she is sensitive to cow’s milk)
  7. Has a better appetite and eats more solids now, at least she finishes all her porridge and main meals.

We had an early birthday celebration for her in Kuching a week earlier as I was back in Kuching for the long weekend to visit my parents. It was just a simple Western dinner (steak and lamb chops)… of course T only had bread and baby biscuits 😂 Then we had a Hello Kitty cake to cut at home.

Her birthday itself was just spent at home, I took a day off work to spend time with her.

She was up early in the morning!

Zipped around in her lion walker car

Watched some Sesame Street

We celebrated the next day with just a simple party at her paternal grandparents’ place with traditional Chinese birthday party dishes: fried bee hoon, fried chicken, curry chicken, curry puffs and of course the mandatory red eggs! T only had the red eggs 😂

We also had a black forest cake to cut…. my favourite! 😂😂😂 naughty mommy… well, she can’t eat cake yet anyway. Too sweet for her!

Next year I will need to think of throwing a birthday party at the child care center (as it seems that all the kids there do that, and I don’t want her to be left out). Although I’m not really a fan of throwing birthday parties every year. Maybe we will just have a simple one.

T has also become interested in our 2 dogs and wants to pet them. But I don’t allow her to do it too often as she is quite rough with them and needs more time to learn. She loves to pinch and grab Cookie’s fur and poke her nose.

Cookie, our star! ⭐️

I hope T learns to be more gentle. She is also rough with other kids at the child care center. But she knows how to manipulate the nurses and get her way around without getting scolded, because every time she is about to get a scolding for doing something bad, she will throw a flying kiss or flash her sweetest smile at the person 😒

I have also started supplementing her with milk powder since she turned 1, as my supply has dropped and I’m finding it hard to supply 3 bottles of breastmilk to the child care center lately (also, I have been lazy to pump extra and home!). I have reduced pumping sessions to 1-2 times daily too. So now she gets 2 bottles of breastmilk and 1 bottle of milk powder during the day, and latches whenever she wants at home.

It’s not easy to introduce milk powder to a breastfed baby! She took a few sips at first, then threw the bottle away and went “no no no no!!”

She was fine with it after many bottles.

I’m giving her rice milk powder for babies due to her bad eczema and sensitivity to cow’s milk. Yet to try goat milk. The bad thing about the rice milk powder is that it tends to have a lot of sediments that clogs the bottle teat sometimes.

Feel sad that T has grown up so fast, it seems like just yesterday she was born a small tiny baby! But at the same time, wish she grows up healthy and happy always. I may not be a good parent, I have made many mistakes and will continue to make mistakes along the way. But I hope I have learned from my mistakes and am able to care for T the best way possible, and make her feel happy and loved always.

Mommy will always love you, my little baby darling. Forever mommy’s little baby ❤️

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Slow down just a little, darling

T will be 11 months old in 2 days' time. Mommy is having a lot of mixed emotions. First of all, I feel kinda sad because time flies so fast and she will be 1 year old soon! I miss her baby time so dearly. When she was still a tiny baby, how I wished she would grow bigger and stronger like other babies. But now that she is bigger and stronger, I miss her being small and tiny and babbly 😢

But at the same time, I'm glad that she is on track with her milestones and growing well despite not eating much. She is also very talkative and lively. Sometimes maybe a little too hyperactive.

My baby grows up so fast! In a blink of an eye! It seems like just yesterday I was still pushing her out of my belly. And yeah everyone was right about how I was gonna miss her kicking in my belly. I sure miss that feeling lots. Wish I could keep her in my belly again.

I'm reluctant to have a second child because I'm afraid I will not love him/her as much. T is after all my first born, I have experienced many firsts with her. She will always be my favourite. Maybe I will need time to wean myself off from these feelings 😁

Speaking of weaning, I don't think I'm able to wean T off breastfeeding when she reaches 1 year old. She latches to sleep now, and she loves to latch. But mainly because I think I won't be able to handle it. Yes, I admit I'm selfish for thinking this way. But it's hard to let go. I enjoy every moment bonding with her while nursing her. I guess we will stop when she wants to. Till then, I'm just gonna enjoy every moment of it because it's not gonna last long anyway 😢 She has given me many sweet memories which I will forever cherish in my heart. ❤️


Slow down just a little, my darling. Mommy wants to keep this little you in her heart forever.

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11 months soon!

T is almost 11 months old! She grows up so fast!

At nearing 11 months old, she is able to:

  • Stand up with support
  • Walk with support (holding onto something)
  • Say bye-bye
  • Call the dog….wow wow (probably she meant woof woof 😂)
  • Feed herself finger food
  • Drink from a straw bottle
  • Say mama and papa
  • Clap her hands when you tell her to clap
  • Clap her hands when she hears a familiar song (like "if you're happy and you know it"
  • Offer to feed you food in her hands
  • Sprouting her 3rd and 4th teeth (upper front teeth)
  • Spoon feed herself…although she makes a huge mess!

She has also become a super picky eater and is not very keen on soft, mushy food like porridge. Nowadays she prefers rice, soups, crackers, and cut fruits.


She loves peaches and cherries very much.


Made her tomato rice with pan fried salmon….she is not a big fan of healthy clean eating!


A lazy meal…scrambled eggs with tomato and cheese.

She loves junk food a lot…. the baby kind of junk food. Like baby rice puffs, rice crackers, teething rusks, toddler biscuits…. oh dear!

Lately at day care, T has graduated from the baby room to the 1-2yo toddler class. She graduated a bit early. So far she is able to follow their morning classes/activities (which mainly consists of sensory play, flash cards, etc) and the fixed schedule and nap time. The only problem is she eats very little porridge, so the nurses have suggested serving her the toddler menu instead, since she hates soft mushy baby food.

Talking about day care, T is staying home for the rest of this week due to the HFMD outbreak at the day care center. So far she hasn't shown any symptoms of HFMD yet, fingers crossed she is not infected! She still follows the day care schedule at home… 3 milk feeds during the day, one 3-hour nap, 2 meals and a snack 😊. Well they say babies thrive on a fixed schedule…. i sure hope so.


Spoon feeding herself – baby pasta stars with cheese.

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Throwback: My First Mother’s Day

Last month was my first mother’s day after being a mom!

The card I got from T’s day care center. Of course, she didn’t make it 😂

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9 months of joy

T has just turned 9 months old! It has been a wonderful 9 months journey with my little bubbly (sometimes whiney) bundle of joy. 18 months, considering the time she spent in my tummy. 😂

My little bunny growing up fast!

I have been super busy with my hands so full of T lately. To summarize, at 9 months T has achieved the following:

  1. Crawl forward (and fast!)
  2. Sit up on her own
  3. Hold herself up and try to stand
  4. Lift her knees off the ground while in crawling position
  5. Sprouted her 2nd tooth!
  6. Eat more solid food like rice, roasted veggies, toast, scrambled egg
  7. Clap her hands
  8. Throw tantrums (actually I think this has been going on for a few months 😂 oh dear)
  9. Shake her head to tell you she doesn’t want something

She has been a poor eater lately, refusing all sorts of food and made poor weight gain in her 8th month. However there is some good progress this month after I started giving her more meals. Now, apart from the 2 meals she has at day care, I try to give her an additional breakfast and sometimes supper. Usually it’s yogurt, cheese, bread or fruits. During weekends, she gets snacks in between meals.

Of course, being the picky eater she is, sometimes I don’t understand why non-food items would taste much better to her…

Who needs expensive toys when you can get the same kind of entertainment from cheap plastic bowls! 😂


She has recovered from a bad round of flu and cough and stayed healthy for about 2 weeks. But she is down with the flu and cough again now. What a bad season! The weather has been pretty bad too. Since she is 9 months old now, the doctor has prescribed medication for her flu and chesty cough – Ventamol expectorant and Zyrtec syrup. Both smell like crap. No wonder kids hate their medications.

She is still fully breastfed, although I have to start dipping into my freezer stash now as I’m finding it hard to pump at home while latching her at the same time. I used to do this, to collect enough milk for her next day’s supply. But since she is older now and more aware, she starts to grab at my pump or smacking it away. Pumping at work alone is not enough for her day time supply 😦  I’m glad I did pump diligently before this to collect some emergency stash. Now, I admit I’m a bit lazy and have slacked. I sometimes don’t even bother to pump at night or during weekends when she latches directly. Because you know, hard work keeping her hands to herself!

I hope I can continue breastfeeding her at least till she is 1 year old.

My little baby grows up just too fast! She is losing her baby looks and everyday I’m afraid of blinking because before I know it, she will be 18 years old and walking out of my life 😦  Mommy loves you and will miss you very much, my baby darling.

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Transitioning

In a few days time, T will be 6 months old. Sob sob… time really flies so fast. I feel that I haven’t even enjoyed enough of her first 6 months and now she is ready to be all grown up 😦

I’m glad that I have been able to breastfeed her up till now and still able to continue beyond the 6 month mark. At this point I’m still thinking of whether to wean her off breastmilk or continue breastfeeding for a couple more months. Pumping at work is really tiring for me, even though I’m getting used to it. But sometimes I feel that the extra time I take off work to pump could be used to go home an hour earlier to spend with T 🙂

But I’m still holding the thought of continuing our breastfeeding journey as I really cherish those bonding moments with T while nursing her. Indecisive me 🙂

My cheap but trusty Pigeon breastpump that has served me well for the past 3 months ever since I went back to work


Soon she will be ready for solids too, a big milestone! So far she has shown some signs that she is ready to try solid food:

  1. Able to hold her head upright and sit with support
  2. Grabs things and puts them in her mouth
  3. Makes chewing motion and smacks her lips
  4. Stares at people eating

She is not able to sit up without support yet, and she still seems to have the tongue-thrust reflex.

Friends have been “brainwashing” me about baby led weaning, but I think I will go with puree first then only transition into BLW probably after a month or two. I’m a really paranoid parent and I would be really worried about the dangers of choking although it would be most unlikely 😂

I have already thought about what kind of veggies and fruits to feed her, and of course I’m super excited just thinking of preparing her food. I actually love cooking but I rarely have time or energy to do it, so making food for my little sweetheart is the perfect opportunity to do what I enjoy.

Bibs, feeding bowl/masher and feeding spoon all ready 🙂


It would be even more fun once T is older and can eat more variety of solids. I sure am looking forward to cooking/baking all kinds of food, snacks or preparing cute bentos for her. But for now, let’s just take one step at a time so I can slowly appreciate and cherish every moment I have with T before she grows up too fast.

If only cooking for children could be a full time job. Surely it is way better and more fun than looking at javascripts and vbscripts all day. Maybe I should consider babysitting as my next career 🙂

T, please don’t grow up too fast…

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Cherish every moment

My dear baby T,

Tonight as I held you in my arms and watched you sleep so peacefully, a tear rolled down my cheek as my emotions bubbled up inside me. Remember before you were 2 months old, how you constantly cried for hours and I just held onto you not knowing what to do. And how you always fell asleep on my chest after all those episodes of crying and screaming. You eventually outgrew all the crying and screaming, but you also outgrew sleeping on my chest, which I missed so much.

And then there were days when you refused to sleep unless you were cradled in my arms, and I couldn’t put you down lest you would scream and cry the whole house down. Those days, I felt so angry and frustrated from the lack of sleep and not being able to do anything else. You soon outgrew that too, but then I started to miss holding you in my arms while you sleep 😢

Soon, you will learn to sit up, and crawl, and walk, and run. And you wouldn’t want to fall asleep in my arms anymore. I feel so emotional thinking of when it will be the last time I held you to sleep, kissed you to sleep, nursed you to sleep and held you close to my heart. With each new step you take as you grow up, there will also be my last times with you. For all these times we share, you might not remember it when you grow up. But I will always cherish them in my memory and in my heart. And for all the last times that I have to hold you, nurse you, feed you, kiss you and all… I will shed a tear when the moment comes for you to outgrow them. But I know you have to, for the sake of growing up. And I will miss those moments so dearly.

My dear baby T, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world. Maybe some will say I spoil you, but from this moment on, I don’t want to have any regrets. I already have regrets from not doing enough for the past 5 months. I will hold you as much as I can, let you sleep in my arms for as long as you want, and everything else can wait while I watch you sleep, or make you laugh, or make you feel loved. Because I only have one chance of watching you grow up and you grow up way too fast. Soon you will leave our nest and spread your wings and fly.

You are God’s precious gift to me, my little miracle. However, I know that you are not mine to keep, as children are borrowed from God. Your time is loaned to us to be raised up to be independent and strong enough to fly on your own. Until then, I will try my best to make the most of this borrowed time we have together, and cherish every moment with you in my heart.

The days are long but the years are short.

Love, Mom.