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Slow down just a little, darling

T will be 11 months old in 2 days' time. Mommy is having a lot of mixed emotions. First of all, I feel kinda sad because time flies so fast and she will be 1 year old soon! I miss her baby time so dearly. When she was still a tiny baby, how I wished she would grow bigger and stronger like other babies. But now that she is bigger and stronger, I miss her being small and tiny and babbly 😢

But at the same time, I'm glad that she is on track with her milestones and growing well despite not eating much. She is also very talkative and lively. Sometimes maybe a little too hyperactive.

My baby grows up so fast! In a blink of an eye! It seems like just yesterday I was still pushing her out of my belly. And yeah everyone was right about how I was gonna miss her kicking in my belly. I sure miss that feeling lots. Wish I could keep her in my belly again.

I'm reluctant to have a second child because I'm afraid I will not love him/her as much. T is after all my first born, I have experienced many firsts with her. She will always be my favourite. Maybe I will need time to wean myself off from these feelings 😁

Speaking of weaning, I don't think I'm able to wean T off breastfeeding when she reaches 1 year old. She latches to sleep now, and she loves to latch. But mainly because I think I won't be able to handle it. Yes, I admit I'm selfish for thinking this way. But it's hard to let go. I enjoy every moment bonding with her while nursing her. I guess we will stop when she wants to. Till then, I'm just gonna enjoy every moment of it because it's not gonna last long anyway 😢 She has given me many sweet memories which I will forever cherish in my heart. ❤️


Slow down just a little, my darling. Mommy wants to keep this little you in her heart forever.

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9 months of joy

T has just turned 9 months old! It has been a wonderful 9 months journey with my little bubbly (sometimes whiney) bundle of joy. 18 months, considering the time she spent in my tummy. 😂

My little bunny growing up fast!

I have been super busy with my hands so full of T lately. To summarize, at 9 months T has achieved the following:

  1. Crawl forward (and fast!)
  2. Sit up on her own
  3. Hold herself up and try to stand
  4. Lift her knees off the ground while in crawling position
  5. Sprouted her 2nd tooth!
  6. Eat more solid food like rice, roasted veggies, toast, scrambled egg
  7. Clap her hands
  8. Throw tantrums (actually I think this has been going on for a few months 😂 oh dear)
  9. Shake her head to tell you she doesn’t want something

She has been a poor eater lately, refusing all sorts of food and made poor weight gain in her 8th month. However there is some good progress this month after I started giving her more meals. Now, apart from the 2 meals she has at day care, I try to give her an additional breakfast and sometimes supper. Usually it’s yogurt, cheese, bread or fruits. During weekends, she gets snacks in between meals.

Of course, being the picky eater she is, sometimes I don’t understand why non-food items would taste much better to her…

Who needs expensive toys when you can get the same kind of entertainment from cheap plastic bowls! 😂


She has recovered from a bad round of flu and cough and stayed healthy for about 2 weeks. But she is down with the flu and cough again now. What a bad season! The weather has been pretty bad too. Since she is 9 months old now, the doctor has prescribed medication for her flu and chesty cough – Ventamol expectorant and Zyrtec syrup. Both smell like crap. No wonder kids hate their medications.

She is still fully breastfed, although I have to start dipping into my freezer stash now as I’m finding it hard to pump at home while latching her at the same time. I used to do this, to collect enough milk for her next day’s supply. But since she is older now and more aware, she starts to grab at my pump or smacking it away. Pumping at work alone is not enough for her day time supply 😦  I’m glad I did pump diligently before this to collect some emergency stash. Now, I admit I’m a bit lazy and have slacked. I sometimes don’t even bother to pump at night or during weekends when she latches directly. Because you know, hard work keeping her hands to herself!

I hope I can continue breastfeeding her at least till she is 1 year old.

My little baby grows up just too fast! She is losing her baby looks and everyday I’m afraid of blinking because before I know it, she will be 18 years old and walking out of my life 😦  Mommy loves you and will miss you very much, my baby darling.

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Cherish every moment

My dear baby T,

Tonight as I held you in my arms and watched you sleep so peacefully, a tear rolled down my cheek as my emotions bubbled up inside me. Remember before you were 2 months old, how you constantly cried for hours and I just held onto you not knowing what to do. And how you always fell asleep on my chest after all those episodes of crying and screaming. You eventually outgrew all the crying and screaming, but you also outgrew sleeping on my chest, which I missed so much.

And then there were days when you refused to sleep unless you were cradled in my arms, and I couldn’t put you down lest you would scream and cry the whole house down. Those days, I felt so angry and frustrated from the lack of sleep and not being able to do anything else. You soon outgrew that too, but then I started to miss holding you in my arms while you sleep 😢

Soon, you will learn to sit up, and crawl, and walk, and run. And you wouldn’t want to fall asleep in my arms anymore. I feel so emotional thinking of when it will be the last time I held you to sleep, kissed you to sleep, nursed you to sleep and held you close to my heart. With each new step you take as you grow up, there will also be my last times with you. For all these times we share, you might not remember it when you grow up. But I will always cherish them in my memory and in my heart. And for all the last times that I have to hold you, nurse you, feed you, kiss you and all… I will shed a tear when the moment comes for you to outgrow them. But I know you have to, for the sake of growing up. And I will miss those moments so dearly.

My dear baby T, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world. Maybe some will say I spoil you, but from this moment on, I don’t want to have any regrets. I already have regrets from not doing enough for the past 5 months. I will hold you as much as I can, let you sleep in my arms for as long as you want, and everything else can wait while I watch you sleep, or make you laugh, or make you feel loved. Because I only have one chance of watching you grow up and you grow up way too fast. Soon you will leave our nest and spread your wings and fly.

You are God’s precious gift to me, my little miracle. However, I know that you are not mine to keep, as children are borrowed from God. Your time is loaned to us to be raised up to be independent and strong enough to fly on your own. Until then, I will try my best to make the most of this borrowed time we have together, and cherish every moment with you in my heart.

The days are long but the years are short.

Love, Mom.