In a few days time, T will be 6 months old. Sob sob… time really flies so fast. I feel that I haven’t even enjoyed enough of her first 6 months and now she is ready to be all grown up 😦

I’m glad that I have been able to breastfeed her up till now and still able to continue beyond the 6 month mark. At this point I’m still thinking of whether to wean her off breastmilk or continue breastfeeding for a couple more months. Pumping at work is really tiring for me, even though I’m getting used to it. But sometimes I feel that the extra time I take off work to pump could be used to go home an hour earlier to spend with T 🙂

But I’m still holding the thought of continuing our breastfeeding journey as I really cherish those bonding moments with T while nursing her. Indecisive me 🙂

My cheap but trusty Pigeon breastpump that has served me well for the past 3 months ever since I went back to work

Soon she will be ready for solids too, a big milestone! So far she has shown some signs that she is ready to try solid food:

  1. Able to hold her head upright and sit with support
  2. Grabs things and puts them in her mouth
  3. Makes chewing motion and smacks her lips
  4. Stares at people eating

She is not able to sit up without support yet, and she still seems to have the tongue-thrust reflex.

Friends have been “brainwashing” me about baby led weaning, but I think I will go with puree first then only transition into BLW probably after a month or two. I’m a really paranoid parent and I would be really worried about the dangers of choking although it would be most unlikely 😂

I have already thought about what kind of veggies and fruits to feed her, and of course I’m super excited just thinking of preparing her food. I actually love cooking but I rarely have time or energy to do it, so making food for my little sweetheart is the perfect opportunity to do what I enjoy.

Bibs, feeding bowl/masher and feeding spoon all ready 🙂

It would be even more fun once T is older and can eat more variety of solids. I sure am looking forward to cooking/baking all kinds of food, snacks or preparing cute bentos for her. But for now, let’s just take one step at a time so I can slowly appreciate and cherish every moment I have with T before she grows up too fast.

If only cooking for children could be a full time job. Surely it is way better and more fun than looking at javascripts and vbscripts all day. Maybe I should consider babysitting as my next career 🙂

T, please don’t grow up too fast…


Sharing is caring

One day, Cookie the smelly beagle decided to borrow T’s expensive teether toy while we were all out for dinner…

Oh my, what fun she must have had while we were gone!

It’s okay, Cookie… you can keep it!

I don’t think T would want it anymore with all your drool all over it 😂

Oh the challenges of bringing up T together with a funny beagle who is like a 2yo toddler.


T’s birth story

Having a baby is no walk in the park. Although it has been almost 6 months since T was born, I thought I’d better write it all down before my memory dies on me one day.

Before baby T was born, I was so confident that she was going to be early, or “on time”. Unfortunately, T had other thoughts – lounging around in mommy’s womb seemed like a better idea. After taking long walks and cleaning the house 3 times with no sign of labour, I couldn’t wait and decided to induce labour at exactly 40 weeks.

Well, bad idea. And T was determined to let me know I should have let her stay much longer.

Cut a long story short, the labour lasted almost 24 hours with the most intense pain happening at around midnight. I have an extremely low tolerance for pain, yet the doc refused to allow epidural until I was dilated (I was 0cm dilated when induced!) so by then I had taken 2 painkiller shots and inhaled more than enough gas to make me pass out anytime. Both were useless at easing any pain at all. Finally, I was allowed epidural, the most heavenly and magical drug in childbirth. I have no words to describe the pain and grief labour can bring, but you know, the magic of epidural makes you forget all of that.

The doc broke the water bag the next morning at 3cm dilation and administered pitocin to kick up the contractions. I was fully dilated by lunch time. The doc came in and asked me to start pushing…. and the whole thing just felt kinda like having that kind of constipated poop that is coming out halfway through your butt hole but just hangs in there halfway and never manages to pop out no matter how hard you push until you feel like your head is about to explode. Hence, I must say the vacuum extractor is another magical invention in childbirth. After an hour of pushing, T was finally vacuum extracted out… and even though I couldn’t feel any pain, the feeling of a watermelon sized T popping right out of me was like the most relieving feeling in the whole world (after having her head stuck down there for an hour!). The funniest moment after T came out was the doc asking my husband if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord…
Doc: Do you want to cut the cord?

Hubs: Yeah, cut it… (obviously not understanding the question)

Doc: Do you want to cut it?

Hubs: Yeah, just cut it.

Me: (losing it) Omg, he means YOU cut the cord!!

Hubs: No no no….you do it!!

Yeah, I have the funniest sweetheart hubby in the world who was probably blur from the lack of sleep. By the time the doc was done stitching me up (I had a 5cm tear! And bad hemorrhoids after all that pushing), I was throwing up all over and felt really bad for throwing up on the poor nurse.

Recovery was a rollercoaster ride for me as well. On the first week I couldn’t pee and had to have my pee drained out at the hospital. Then my hemorrhoids were so bad that I could hardly control my farting and pooping. I couldn’t sit with all that pain as well and had a hard time breastfeeding T. The doc had suggested surgery to remove the hemorrhoids, but no way I was gonna have a surgery on my butt after having a “watermelon” pass through my vagina! 😂 I was in tears worrying about when my bladder was gonna burst from my inability to pee, or how the doc was gonna make me carry a pee bag around. Thank God I didn’t need a pee bag after all, and I managed to finally pee on my own a few days later.

My beloved Cookie saying hello to her little baby human

Giving birth to T is definitely not a smooth sailing journey for me, it was also rough on T’s poor daddy as well. Even though we managed to check in to a single room ward, there was no extra bed for him to spend the night, only a narrow uncomfortable sofa with no blankets. He did not sleep well for the 2 nights we were at the hospital… and with T back at home, well nobody got any sleep! 😂 So, fathers make a lot of sacrifices too to watch their child come into this world. I hope T will grow up to appreciate and love her dad for all that he has done for her.

Being a mom definitely made me appreciate my mom even more. I remembered the time I left home to pursue my tertiary education some hundreds of miles away from home, and I saw my mom wiping her tears at the airport watching me leave. Maybe at that time I was feeling excited and couldn’t wait to leave home for the first time, but many years later I now understood how my mom felt at that moment when her little girl finally left the nest. I know that one day I will go through it as well, and I sure hope that moment will not come so soon. As my mom had said to me… the hardest part of being a mom is when you have to cut off the second and final umbilical cord, when your child is finally ready to leave the nest.

I am dreading the day when T is finally all grown up and ready to leave our nest and fly… but eventually she will. And until then, I shall make the most of every moment I have with her, cherish every memory I have with her, and love her the best I can. Sometimes, I still shed tears when I think of how she will leave me one day, but I know I need to keep reminding myself that she will eventually have her own life and her own happiness. I just pray that she will find happiness and the right path in her life. I will always be here for her whenever she needs me, I promise her that. And she will always be my dear little baby.


Cherish every moment

My dear baby T,

Tonight as I held you in my arms and watched you sleep so peacefully, a tear rolled down my cheek as my emotions bubbled up inside me. Remember before you were 2 months old, how you constantly cried for hours and I just held onto you not knowing what to do. And how you always fell asleep on my chest after all those episodes of crying and screaming. You eventually outgrew all the crying and screaming, but you also outgrew sleeping on my chest, which I missed so much.

And then there were days when you refused to sleep unless you were cradled in my arms, and I couldn’t put you down lest you would scream and cry the whole house down. Those days, I felt so angry and frustrated from the lack of sleep and not being able to do anything else. You soon outgrew that too, but then I started to miss holding you in my arms while you sleep 😢

Soon, you will learn to sit up, and crawl, and walk, and run. And you wouldn’t want to fall asleep in my arms anymore. I feel so emotional thinking of when it will be the last time I held you to sleep, kissed you to sleep, nursed you to sleep and held you close to my heart. With each new step you take as you grow up, there will also be my last times with you. For all these times we share, you might not remember it when you grow up. But I will always cherish them in my memory and in my heart. And for all the last times that I have to hold you, nurse you, feed you, kiss you and all… I will shed a tear when the moment comes for you to outgrow them. But I know you have to, for the sake of growing up. And I will miss those moments so dearly.

My dear baby T, I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world. Maybe some will say I spoil you, but from this moment on, I don’t want to have any regrets. I already have regrets from not doing enough for the past 5 months. I will hold you as much as I can, let you sleep in my arms for as long as you want, and everything else can wait while I watch you sleep, or make you laugh, or make you feel loved. Because I only have one chance of watching you grow up and you grow up way too fast. Soon you will leave our nest and spread your wings and fly.

You are God’s precious gift to me, my little miracle. However, I know that you are not mine to keep, as children are borrowed from God. Your time is loaned to us to be raised up to be independent and strong enough to fly on your own. Until then, I will try my best to make the most of this borrowed time we have together, and cherish every moment with you in my heart.

The days are long but the years are short.

Love, Mom.


Disposable diapers

After T was born, we had to forget about cloth diapers and use disposables as she was way too tiny to fit in the one size fits all cloth diapers. Also partly because after living my post delivery life, I was convinced that I just don’t have the time and energy to keep up with washing 10 poo stained diapers a day.

But, it turns out that T has a very sensitive (and expensive) butt… she doesn’t tolerate cheap diapers very well! So we ended up experimenting with a few different brands.

L-R: Drypers wee wee dry, Huggies ultra tape, Mamypoko Extra Dry tape

L-R: Mamypoko standard pants, Huggies Dry pants

L-R: Merries tape, Huggies ultra pants


Drypers Wee Wee Dry

Price: RM0.42/piece

T used this for her first couple of weeks. Because she pooped like every 2-3 hours, this was a cheaper option that won’t burn a hole in my pocket. However, the absorption is like crap and on unlucky days, fast flowing poonami shoots right out the diaper like a volcanic eruption. The cheap price is sometimes not worth all the clean up work I had to do – scrubbing poo-stained clothes and washing poo off the floor and furniture and bed sheets!!

Verdict: Noooooo 😦

Huggies Ultra tape

Price: RM0.56/piece (promo price)

This is one of the better brands (hospital recommended) that does not cause diaper rash. Huggies Ultra is a bit on the pricey side but well worth it as it has better absorption and can last way longer (the packaging says 12 hours, but it usually lasts 6-7 hours for T if she didn’t poop in it). I’m pretty happy with it since T doesn’t get any nappy rash and her poonamis don’t explode out and splatter all over.

The downside however, is that the diaper gets very bulky when full and most of the time, the gel pops out on the surface and sticks to T’s bum. The size is a bit smaller too compared to other diaper brands. And it’s quite pricey without sale/promotion.

Aeon sometimes offers a good price for this, RM66.99 for 2 mega packs (M60).

Verdict: Will buy only during promotion. Good to use during travels too as it contains mess very well.

Huggies Dry tape

Price: RM0.44/piece

This is a cheaper Huggies option for me (I’m a big fan of Huggies now). It does not leak any gel on the surface unlike the Ultra type. As its name suggests, it’s very dry! And quite soft too, although not as soft as the Japanese brand diapers. However it does not last that long and I usually need to change it after 3-4 hours.

Verdict: Will continue using this at day care.

Huggies Dry Pants

Price: RM0.48/piece

I love this pants diaper by Huggies too. It’s basically the same as Huggies Dry tape but this is the pants type. It’s easier to put on especially when T is rolling around or kicking, making it difficult to tape a diaper around her waist. The pant diaper also looks more comfy due to the stretchable waistband.

Verdict: Will continue using this for day time use at home 🙂

Huggies Ultra Pants for Girls

Price: RM0.98/piece

This was the most expensive diaper I’ve ever bought. The design is very pretty, comes in pink for girls. The diaper is very thin and soft and is able to last all night (10-12 hours). Superb quality, but pricey!

Verdict: Love it, but will not buy again unless if there is an irresistible  promotion.

Mamypoko Extra Dry tape

Price: RM0.71/piece

This is one of the pricier brands around and also superb quality. This diaper is super thin, soft, and yet able to stay dry all night long (12 hours as advertised!) and absorbs poonamis very well too!

The downside, it does not have an elastic back, so it can’t stretch to provide a better, snug fit. When T kicks and trashes around too hyperactively, the diaper sometimes slides off. I don’t like to fasten it too tight as I worry she might feel uncomfortable.

Verdict: Love it, but not gonna buy it again as I prefer diapers that come with an elastic backing.

Mamypoko Standard Pants

Price: RM0.44/piece

This is the cheaper variant of Mamypoko. It is quite stiff and has a boring design/print.  The back part does not fully cover T’s butt, therefore poonamis sometimes leak out from the waistband! I need to change this diaper every 3-4 hours as it gets pretty heavy by then and feels hot and damp.

Verdict: Not gonna buy this anymore 😦

Merries tape

Price: RM0.77/piece (promo price)

This diaper is by far the one I love most (funny, since I’m not the one wearing it! 😀 ) It’s super thin, super absorbent (no poonami leaks at all!), has elastic backing, feels extremely soft and comfortable.

The downside is that it’s really pricey to purchase this at supermarkets (since it’s fully imported from Japan). I got it really cheap online from 11street (in total about  RM49++ including shipping for M64). Quite a bargain for a super premium brand.

Verdict: Super love this brand. Will definitely buy again if there is any online promotion.

Oh by the way, all the prices above are stated for M size since T is currently wearing that 🙂

To conclude, I am now a big fan of Huggies and also Japanese brand diapers as they are very thin and gentle on T’s skin. And contain poonamis very well!